Pushing boundaries
Captain’s blog, stardate 97343…
What a lame way to start this blog (I don’t even really watch Star Trek). But it doesn’t matter because it will gradually fall to the bottom of a long pile of random musings.
For too long I’ve been trying to blog about relevant things that are important and are perhaps even interesting. Now I’m giving myself permission to talk about myself.
This will be self indulgent, but it will also be revealing. It is my way of splurging my brain into the written form and being less private. It may be so boring that everyone will miss the revealing things. Unless they have developed the ability to search and scan text.
The important thing is this diary is available to anyone who wants to read it. To anyone who wants to discover me. To anyone who is willing to look through unedited prose. This is not supposed to be greate literature; if that happens it happens by accident.
I will be honest with it as if it were a private diary, but I’ll remain discreet when discussing anyone else. This is supposed to reveal me; not anyone else. It’s supposed to make me vunerable.
If you read, you will discover things about me. Probably at the same time as I am discovering things about myself. I introspect a lot. I keep thinking I have reached a point where I need know no more. But the journey is interesting and really concerns how I find my place in the world. How can this wondering soul find his place in this universe when he doesn’t seem to fit in at all? The answer I believe, is that I will have to make a place for myself. Maybe in the corner, maybe on the mantel piece. I really don’t know.
This is my journey to become more me. To be the best damn Alan I can be. To stop being ashamed of who I am. To grow confident in my shell. And to share myself with the world.
I don’t want my life to be private any more.
That has always been distructive.
I want to be free of that.
I want to expose myself.
I mean that quite literally. For years I was ashamed of my body, but I am over that now and I feel a need to show it off. I want to feel comfortable showing it off. I may post naked pictures of me. You have been warned!
If you want to know anything about me, you will find out.
If there is anything you don’t want to know about me, you should not read.
These are thoughts which are quite random. They are the things on my mind. To be fair, many of my thoughts are concerned with the psychology of intelligence and education. But I won’t talk about that here because I write about it elsewhere. This site, therefore, will probably be a more extreme version of my thoughts. It will be edited by interest, and if I don’t post for days on end it does not mean I am in a coma.
This is a cathartic process. But one I share with anyone who wishes to read.
I know I am an interesting character; I know not if that is a good thing or not.