Wow. I completely missed the important England football match today because I was busy working. Not that I had to work, I was just so absorbed in it that I forgot.

I’m not sure if this is a problem or not. I mean, on the one hand I know it’s unhealthy to be obsessive. But on the other hand, most of the people I think of as personal heroes are. It kind of goes with the territory of doing amazing things.

So maybe I shouldn’t fight it.

Another personality trait I hate having is an inability to see when I’ve done good work. I have never produced anything that I’ve believed is good. Yet logically I know that I must be good at certain things because of grades or random praise from strangers. It doesn’t make sense that these could be lies, but I still feel in my gut that they are lying. I just can’t figure out why.

This is a good trait though. I think without it I wouldn’t really achieve anything. I certainly wouldn’t push myself.

But I hate it because it means that any feeling of a job-well-done lasts no more than ten minutes. Ten minutes before I come to my senses and realise what utter crap I have produced.

It drives me crazy.

But I don’t think I should fight it.

If I ever make you a cup of tea, the worst thing you can do is say ‘oooh, that’s a nice cuppa!’ I won’t believe you, and I’ll start stressing about it. The other worst thing you can do is say nothing.

In defiance I’m not going to proofread this post and I’m going to make myself publish it. Because it’s fine to push out crap every now and again. In fact, failing to do so might make me ill.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, September 12th, 2007 at 23:23 UTC and is filed under Life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.